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I don't believe in AIDS. I don't believe in HIV. I do believe in gonorrhea, only because, I watched a film on it, and I experienced the same symptoms the very next day, and I thought, what a coincidence... Oh my God, maybe I willed it on myself. I've got gonorrhea. ...but maybe I only like it so much because it sound's like diarrhea. ...That might be the reason I like gonorrhea.
Hmm... But herpes...
-That's not something to mess with.
I know alotta people who's lives have been ruined by herpes. ...It's almost the status-quo now, I if you think about it. You got herpes? You ma friend, have lived the life...
I think so.
The same with palsy... You get the palsy, and... you know you have had, quite the eventful life. ...And uh, the other one: Parkinson’s disease. When you get Parkinson’s, that-that's not something that just happens.-
-Nooooo.
No way man. You did somethin' in your life.
I think so.
-Look at Michael J. Fox, man: Professional actor... hot wife... uhh, did some other stuff. -He's got the Parkinson’s man. Good for him. I hope to one day get that-that disease... Parkinson’s... and Alzheimer's too man.
-Well with Parkinson’s, you're all filled with extra energy... uhh, with Alzheimer's it's a tiring, lazying -ya know, effect.
-I wonder if you got them both?
You'd probably stay completely normal.
Yeah, ya know what? We probably already-
Have both? -annnd it's actually an imbalance of either Alzheimer's or Parkinson’s, one way or the other.
Right, that's... We've just made a breakthrough.
Wow...
We need to call Popular Science, man... We know how to cure Alzheimer’s.-
-Just give 'em Parkinson’s...
-Double the Parkinson’s...
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Dialog Samples
Wisdom Gained
CommonMen 3
CommonMen 4
Dopplegangers
MicroFiction
The Afterlife Is Gay
Short Stories
Up From The Depths
Bangin' Onna Trashcan
The Conductor... Is A Bear!!
